What Madonna’s Face Says About Women and Aging

In an era when women are being marginalized for aging, Madonna had an opportunity to be a role-model and standard bearer.

Iconic female pop artist Madonna made an appearance at the 65^th Grammy awards last Sunday.

She was, in a word, unrecognizable. I wasn’t the only one who noticed.

As the Twitterverse wound into overdrive, the comments were harsh and unrelenting: “She should have left her face alone,” said one. “Tragic,” said another. And those were the least offensive comments.

But I agree with those comments.

At age 64, Madonna doesn’t need to prove anything to anyone. Her music legacy and boundary-defying career are a coda to a remarkable woman. And after four decades, she has shown us her many different sides, some of which we really didn’t need to see. But she has earned the right to do anything she wants; to choose how she wants to age and how she wants aging to look. But, up until now, she has always looked like, well, Madonna.

Which is what makes me so sad.

In an era when women are being marginalized for their age, Madonna had an opportunity to be a role model and standard-bearer. She had the oppportunity to embrace aging; to age gracefully, wrinkles and all, and show the world that woman, regardless of age, can still be relevant, still court controversy, still…create.

She could have said “So what?!” to those ageists and shown the world that she could rock it with the best of them; wrinkles, sagging skin, drooping breasts, and all. Instead, she seems to have bought into the falsehood that woman are only valuable as long as they appear “youthful.”

Some have opined that her look is a commentary on beauty and the inevitability of aging. Madonna herself said “Once again, I am caught in the glare of ageism and misogyny that permeates the world we live in.” That “glare” isn’t about ageism or misogyny. It’s about reacting to getting older in a way that perpetuates the ageism and misogyny while making you look…unrecognizable and cartoonish.

Madonna also said “I am happy to do the trailblazing so that all women behind me can have an easier time in years to come.” This isn’t trailblazing. This is succumbing to the ideal that youth means relevance and looking old is to be avoided at all costs.

Trailblazing is hard. Women before Madonna blazed trails precisely so that Madonna could be the star she has become. True “trailblazing” would have been to age naturally; embracing the gifts that living a long and productive life can bring, while helping to end the stereotypes of old age.

As one of the most recognizable, controversial and enduring artists of all time, Madonna has every right to look any way she wants. But imagine what she could have done for women everywhere if she’d let herself age naturally.