What I’d Like to say About Kim Kardashian Eating Poop to Stay Younger

Really?!

According to PEOPLE Magazine, Kim Kardashian, in an interview with the New York Times said, “If you told me that I literally had to eat poop every single day and I would look younger, I might.”

Ponder that a moment. Did she mean that she would eat poop just to look younger? Or did she mean she’d eat poop to both stay and look young?

I can see her point. It’s scary to get older. Particularly when ageist stereotypes are abundant in our culture. We’re doddering, bumbling and falling asleep inour La-Z-Boy® recliners after watching Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune.  We elderly become invisible and, God forbid, a Kardashian should become invisible! Butt (pun intended), really?! Poop?! To stay younger?!

And what kind of poop would she be willing to eat? Rabbit? Bear? Cow? Human? That phrase ‘eat s**t and die’ is kind of a real thing, right? E. coli, salmonella, hepatitis, campylobacter; those are just a few of the ‘seasonings’ found in poop. At the very least, I’m guessing, it could make you feel pretty crappy, which would make you feel less than youthful. So many questions….but I digress.

I know there are all kinds of potions and creams that claim to make your wrinkles less visible. You can botox away your deeper wrinkles; inject your lips for a fuller appearance. You can opt for surgeries that pull the skin tight across your face like the flesh on a plum. And I’m fine with all of that. For everyone else.

Me? I’m going to wear my gray hair and wrinkles with pride. I earned them. Those are happy wrinkles from the laughter and good times I’ve shared with family and friends. I find it interesting and reassuring to see how I have changed when I look in the mirror; I see my mother, grandmother and great-grandmother’s features and I am reassured about the continuity of life.

Personally, I have no plans to become ‘invisible.’ I plan to be visibly present, screaming “I’m still here!” through the years in all my wrinkled, hoary agedness.

Bottom line (pun intended, again): Kim Kardashian may end up being a member of the Dung Diners Club but I’ll be a warty toad before I spend my money on trying to look younger. Now, please pass me another glass of champagne…