Today I’m Cleaning Out My Grandchildren’s Room

I should make a plan.

I’ve been putting this off for several months now, this cleaning out thing I have to do. It’s not that I’m bothered by the fact that it needs doing, there are just so many other things to do besides clean. Things like petting the cat, sitting in my yard in the warmth of the Fall sun, reading emails from spammers, going down another internet rabbit hole, grabbing a snack from the fridge.

You see, our son got a promotion. This is a good thing. He’s in the military and has been deployed several times, which is hard on his wife and young children. With this promotion, he won’t be deployed and will have a regular schedule. But it meant moving; to the opposite side of the country. And he was taking his kids, our grandkids, with him. To hear my husband tell it, it’s a tragedy of epic proportions. Not the promotion; the taking of the grandkids out of our orbit.

Our son and his wife had made plans to drive to their new home in tandem; two cars, three kids, a cat and suitcases full of optimism. Since we weren’t sure who would be alive after the seventy-ninth “Are we there yet?” my husband, our daughter and I volunteered to take the three kids, by plane, from Los Angeles to Seattle (to visit aunts and cousins) then to North Carolina, their final destination. We all survived. Barely. We only had to call hotel engineering once to remove the door locks after accidentally locking the toddler in one of our connecting hotel rooms during his nap. So far, he doesn’t appear to be scarred for life.

But now, the grandkids’ room needs cleaning out. I should make a plan. Start with the books: Baby’s First 100 Words, Rainbow Fish, Goodnight Moon, The Hungry, Hungry Caterpillar. Maybe I’ll keep Goodnight Moon. The rest will go to the library. Then move on to the dolls with their strollers and baby beds. Maybe the women’s shelter will want those. Next I’ll clean out the puzzles and games. I’ll keep some of these and donate the rest; I’ll also keep the sand toys; they’ll still want to go to the beach and one can always use a good plastic shovel and bucket. Then I’ll empty the rest — old Crayons, dried-up felt markers, plastic toys from kid’s meals, scribbled papers and the rest of the toddler detritus — into garbage sacks and toss them in the bin.

As I do this, I’ll remember all the times we read to them before bedtime. All the times we colored the princesses and unicorns in coloring books. I’ll remember teaching them their first 100 words, the seemingly endless days at the beach, and the promise of ice cream or popsicles at the end of a long day. I’ll think of the holidays or average days when they would stay over for a few days to give their mother a break while our son was deployed; The parks we’d visit, the dogs we’d pet and give treats to. And the times we would tuck them in at night, leaving a little night light on, checking on their angelic faces as they slept and dreamed of new adventures.

And when I’m done cleaning, I’ll look around and feel a little sad that the room is so empty. I’ll miss them.

I’ll look at the wallpaper of animals and the twinkling dragonfly lights strung across the ceiling and wonder if they’ll remember the love they found in this room created just for them. Will they still cuddle the stuffed animals that now sit forlornly on their beds? Will they still want to curl up on the couch in the blankets that are folded and waiting for them?

It will be awhile before they come back to visit. For now, it is easier for us to visit them; There’s school and soccer and friends and their new life.

When they do come back, their room will be waiting for them. It may not look exactly the same, but they won’t be the same, either. They’ll be older, and looking for new adventures. But in that room, they’ll always find love. Of that, grandpa and grandma will make sure.