Quiz: Capitol Riot Or Normal Tourist Visit To Disneyland
“If you didn’t know the TV footage was a video from January 6, you would actually think it was a normal tourist visit”—Rep. Andrew Clyde 1. Rushing to the entrance 2. Crowding…
Published Mirth
Why We Must Have A Pie
“We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie.” –David Mamet My grandmother made the best pies in the world. Hands down. No contest. Barely five feet tall, what my grandmother…
‘Gray’ Matter
Give me a head with hair Long, beautiful hair Shining, gleaming Streaming, flaxen, waxen My hair was a constant source of friction between my mother and me; Like the musical Hair, I wanted to wear mine long.…
I Am Humbled To Receive This Award As Your Worst Date Ever!
Man, oh man! You like me! Right now I can’t deny that you like me! After all these years, all the dates you must have gone on, happily married, with kids of your own, I thought…
Daily Itinerary For Your Viking River Cruise On The Rivers Thames & Itchen, A.D. 843
SØNDAG- DEPART KINGDOM OF KENT 1500-1700—Screening for plague, head lice prior to embarking longboat Shield Maiden. 1730—DEPART KENT. Oars will be provided for your rowing shift. 1800-2000—Welcome Sacrifice! Join us as we string up one passenger…
We’re Not Denying You Had A Baby, But As Your Health Insurance Company, We Are Denying Everything Else!
Congratulations on the birth of your new baby! Below is an Explanation of Benefits for your recent Labor & Delivery charges. Coming into a hospital through the emergency room means you considered your condition an ‘emergency,’…
The CDC’s Pandemiquette Task Force Answers Your Frequently Asked Questions About Proper Social Etiquette Once This Pandemic Is Over
Q. Is it okay to go outside? A. No. You have been through a national disaster. Your wardrobe, hygiene and nutrition choices have been atrocious. Before resuming activities outside your domicile, please consider sending a photo…
It’s All Perspective
I noticed my mother had stopped wearing the necklace the Shaman had given her in Guadalajara. I guess she no longer believed in its power. It felt like surrender to me, but my mother had always…
It’s Me, Your Tempurific 3000 Memory Foam Mattress And I Remember EVERYTHING!
Did someone wake up on the wrong side of me this morning? I find it a bit disturbing that you’re scrolling through mattress ads online. Are you thinking of replacing me, your Tempurific 3000 Memory Foam…
It’s Me, That Woman In The Perfume Ad
And I’ll Do Anything For Love When I’m Wearing Insanity, That New Fragrance For Her My eyelids are closed as I emerge from an underground pool. Why? Is it love? Ecstasy? Chlorine? Ten other women surround…