There wasn't a woman in America who was surprised by the medical report published recently from the Australia Cancer
Council Victoria. Published in the British Journal of Urology International, the report says, and they are darn serious,
that frequent masturbation could help protect against prostate cancer. Gee, like my husband hasn't been launching a variation
of THAT hot air balloon throughout our 13-year marriage.
Let's check my daily "To Do" list:
1. Take laundry to
2. Go to bank
3. Help husband ejaculate
Right. Can you hear all of us women laughing?
I would have liked to see the ad requesting study participants:
"Seeking men who frequently ejaculate. Lots of experience
necessary." Yeah, like men don't have a reputation for stretching the truth in this area.
And, naturally, the "protective
effect" experienced by men later in life seems to be greater for those men who were more active in their 20s. If this doesn't
give you an excuse to lock up your daughters, I don't know what does.
Researchers have called the hypothesis surrounding
the study "prostatic stagnation". I'm sure most women could have saved the researchers a lot of time by telling them that
this is probably the one area a man will never allow to become "stagnant". In fact, we'd be willing to go a few steps further
by telling researchers that the areas of personal hygiene, household chores and home improvements should be bigger areas of
concern for possible "stagnation".
So now that men around the world have a new argument to counter that "not tonight,
honey, I have a headache" excuse, I'd like to see a new group of studies that support women's needs. I'm thinking studies
like: "Shopping Protects Women Against Homicidal Tendencies" or "Chick Movies Increase Testosterone in Men" or "Running A
Vacuum Every Now And Then Won't Kill You". I'm sure the researchers will get right on this.
The researchers concluded
their report by stating that if the findings are confirmed (and what red blooded male won't want to participate in further
studies in this regard?), doctors will be prescribing a new set of "exercise recommendations" to reduce the risk of prostate
cancer. I don't think compliance will be a problem. However, we should all be watching for the increase in carpal tunnel syndrome.
Nancy Franklin. All rights reserved